Don't be afraid to cry, love
Earlier today, something unnerving happened. I couldn't cry because I'd been told, I'm a strong, independent woman. I couldn't complain, because I'm a strong, independent woman. My friends laughed when I told them I felt miserable 'cause how could a strong, independent woman feel that anyway?
Is it fair? Why is it that strong, independent women are mistaken for heartless humans?
Fun fact, we do have a heart. We feel miserable and maybe, shed tears, in situations that anyone would hate to land up in. We're open to attachment, provided you give us some legit incentive to feel love. Yes, we're strong. Yes, we've taken your tantrums and drama before, but don't you even try and go overboard. This isn't me trying to threaten anyone. Just trying to give vocal cords to that bunch of admirable women, who go through the nastiest dilemmas quite often and still manage to stand upright, wearing a facade that wouldn't hint even a little negativity.
Disposal of negative emotions through blogging has never been my cup of tea, but, I guess, it wouldn't hurt to convert into an open book for a change. The last thing I'd want this post to be, is evidence to my emo side, that's just about an iota of what I really am. I'd say, this is my attempt at converting hard times into literature, one of those rare times, I decided to acknowledge my pain. I am unusually hurt and that's not what you'd expect strong, independent women to say. Truth is, I can't handle it alone. A fraction of these feelings is new and mentally interpreting them would've just added an extra stream of thoughts to my already cluttered brain. Typing was hence, chosen.
Goals are important. Knowledge, in any skeleton, Science or Philosophy moves me more than any loved one can. I've trained myself to curb all emotions while parting with relationships that meant the world to me, at some point. Despite the training, I write this, alone, weeping, wondering why the world understands only those who make their suffering conspicuous. Do I need to cry everytime I want someone to give me a break? Do I always need to be the one who understands and accommodates just because I'm relatively stronger than who I'm dealing with? Do I need to be punished whenever I take a decision that is more pragmatic than considerate? Well, hear me out. I won't, or rather, can't be a slave to your wishes because your ego's been stricken. I can't fall in love with you because you want me to. My decisions, though, hated now, will be loved later, for they're pragmatic and not the result of a momentary emotional armageddon.
Get real, dove. Please get real.
Don't make me cry because that fuels your ego. I'm here right now, who will you vent out on, when I go? You had a weakness, you uncurtained mine too. So much for a boost; does my awful state, really help you?
Look at the world, it's a beautiful place. Head your own handsome path and give me my space?
I'm going to take my leave, get going like I always have. Wish you the best of luck, hope you don't end up as bad.
I'll leave this right here, for there's better things to do than cry over a petty heart issue.
Don't be afraid to cry, love, this too, shall pass.
Is it fair? Why is it that strong, independent women are mistaken for heartless humans?
Fun fact, we do have a heart. We feel miserable and maybe, shed tears, in situations that anyone would hate to land up in. We're open to attachment, provided you give us some legit incentive to feel love. Yes, we're strong. Yes, we've taken your tantrums and drama before, but don't you even try and go overboard. This isn't me trying to threaten anyone. Just trying to give vocal cords to that bunch of admirable women, who go through the nastiest dilemmas quite often and still manage to stand upright, wearing a facade that wouldn't hint even a little negativity.
Disposal of negative emotions through blogging has never been my cup of tea, but, I guess, it wouldn't hurt to convert into an open book for a change. The last thing I'd want this post to be, is evidence to my emo side, that's just about an iota of what I really am. I'd say, this is my attempt at converting hard times into literature, one of those rare times, I decided to acknowledge my pain. I am unusually hurt and that's not what you'd expect strong, independent women to say. Truth is, I can't handle it alone. A fraction of these feelings is new and mentally interpreting them would've just added an extra stream of thoughts to my already cluttered brain. Typing was hence, chosen.
Goals are important. Knowledge, in any skeleton, Science or Philosophy moves me more than any loved one can. I've trained myself to curb all emotions while parting with relationships that meant the world to me, at some point. Despite the training, I write this, alone, weeping, wondering why the world understands only those who make their suffering conspicuous. Do I need to cry everytime I want someone to give me a break? Do I always need to be the one who understands and accommodates just because I'm relatively stronger than who I'm dealing with? Do I need to be punished whenever I take a decision that is more pragmatic than considerate? Well, hear me out. I won't, or rather, can't be a slave to your wishes because your ego's been stricken. I can't fall in love with you because you want me to. My decisions, though, hated now, will be loved later, for they're pragmatic and not the result of a momentary emotional armageddon.
Get real, dove. Please get real.
Don't make me cry because that fuels your ego. I'm here right now, who will you vent out on, when I go? You had a weakness, you uncurtained mine too. So much for a boost; does my awful state, really help you?
Look at the world, it's a beautiful place. Head your own handsome path and give me my space?
I'm going to take my leave, get going like I always have. Wish you the best of luck, hope you don't end up as bad.
I'll leave this right here, for there's better things to do than cry over a petty heart issue.
Don't be afraid to cry, love, this too, shall pass.
Thy time shalt pass
ReplyDeleteFeels kinda depressing.. Like negative energy.. No offence.. But I heart your choice of words nd feelings :)
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteYour deepest pain is articulated with immense disdain, yet with an unusually soft heart. Though I am an old stranger, I could well easily sense your valor heart succumbing to defeat to eventually arrive at the pinnacle and school the readers on veracious reality. In my eyes, reality lies where the heart directs. Optimism is, but a choice. Be strong. I would love to read more from you.
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot, Sami. Those are some really nice words. Keep reading :)
DeleteIt's just sometimes it is required that we keep our phalanx of strength up even in the most gravest of times, since there exist a lot of people who will see your tears, which sometimes (most of the time, in my case) becomes that one one weak point of defence. And those people impale that point, painfully, ruthlessly and mercilessly.
ReplyDeleteSome of us are not left with an option to be weak. Staying strong becomes a matter if survival.
PS. Floored by your writing ;)
*of
DeleteWriting out lets you close your eyes in night when otherwise you would have just twisted and twirled endlessly. Out of all emotions, the strongest is to feel enough is enough! History, Science, Sports, Literature, Research..you pick a field and I would search the 'enuf is enuf' story behind its milestones. So I would say, hold my hand and say or rather scream out loud..Enough is Enough!!!
DeleteLot of web words ,I had to use this site called "www.howtopronounce.com" to interpret pronunciation :D .. Well be strong Stay Beautiful :) .I am gonna read all your blogs when i get free :)
ReplyDelete